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How To Start A Conversation On Tinder: Follow These Tips

Starting a conversation on Tinder can be nerve wracking, especially if you’re physically attracted to that person. Saying the wrong thing may turn them off instantly. Girls and guys both should be careful with the first thing they say, in order to start a smooth conversation.

Starting a conversation on Tinder should begin with a comment about their hobbies or interests. These can be found by looking closely at the other person’s pictures. Find a commonality between you and that person.

In this article, we’re going to cover all the things you should and shouldn’t do when starting a conversation on Tinder

How Not To Start A Conversation On Tinder

First, we’re going to cover words and phrases you should avoid when starting a conversation on Tinder. These phrases can instantly turn off a person, or they may simply ignore you.

Tinder conversation
via reddit

Remember, you only have one chance to make a first impression. It needs to be exciting and eventful. A boring introduction will immediatley turn that girl or guy off, as they’re looking for a fun and engaging person.

What Not To Do On Tinder

Starting With Hey

Using just the term “hey” to start a conversation is one of the worst things you can do on Tinder. Hey is such an uneventful entrance and often times you will get a “hey” back, which essentially just resets the conversation back to you.

The point of an opening line is to get the person to respond and keep responding. The term “hey” leaves the other person feeling as if they need to say hey back and that’s it. We want to start out conversations by having them answer a question and feel comfortable doing so.

Starting With A Sexual Statement

Starting with a sexual statement or question is not the way to start a conversation. There’s been many YouTube videos, where the person starts with a sexual line and is sometimes successful, but more often than not they are shut down.

how not to start a conversation
via pinterest

Tinder does have a reputation as a hookup platform, however plenty of people have found love on the app as well. Simply approach every person as if they could be your next girlfriend or boyfriend. Starting off a healthy conversation will help you avoid the creep tag.

Especially if you live in a small town or city, you don’t want to get the reputation as the person who is going around on Tinder saying sexual things. Keep the conversation clean and ask questions.

Don’t Let The Girl Start The Conversation

For what’s left of chivalry, we always recommend the guy be the first person to start the conversation. Similar to how it would work in a bar scene, having the guy take the first step forward, will show that he’s interested.

If the girl is too aggressive on the first and opening line, it may turn off the guy. It’s important that if you match with a guy, take 2 days maximum before you reach out. If the guy doesn’t reach out within 2 days, there’s a good chance he’s probably not interested, even after matching.

As the guy, you’ll want to initiate the conversation and ask questions right from the beginning, that way you can control the pace of the conversation.

Talk About Friends Or Family

If you notice that the person has a friend or family member in their photos, we recommend not saying anything about them until you’ve started the conversation.

The family member may not be with us anymore or the friend could of betrayed them and they don’t want to talk about it. In order to keep the conversation flowing, we recommend keeping family and friends out of the dialogue until later in the conversation.

Ways To Start A Conversation On Tinder

Ask Questions

When starting a conversation on Tinder, the first thing you’ll want to do is ask a question. First, we recommend reading the bio or looking deep into the picture, to see if you can talk about their hobbies.

asking questions on Tinder

If the person has an interest in sports, ask them what their favorite sports team is. If they are seen hiking in a mountain, ask them what mountains they’ve hiked in the area.

This will instantly create a commonality between you two which can lead to more in-depth conversation.

One thing we recommend is to stay away from personal questions. Do not ask about past relationships and do not ask anything sexual.

As you start to learn more about the person, and you two start to become personal with one another, then you can ask those questions. However right off the start, we recommend you stay completely away these topics.

Start With A Joke

If you’re an outgoing person, there’s a good chance you’ll also want to meet someone outgoing to keep up with your energy.

Tinder joke conversation
via reddit

Starting with a joke is the best way to see what kind of personality the other person has before getting deep into a conversation.

If the other person laughs at your joke, and responds back, chances are they are outgoing and it will be a fun conversation. If they don’t respond back or don’t respond back to your humor, it could be because they’re introverted and don’t have your same humor.

Start With A Compliment

Starting with a compliment can be a good way to make a girl or guy feel confident about themselves. This can help put you a better position, compared to all of the other matches.

We caution however, do not make this sexual. Starting a conversation with a compliment can be something about having pretty eyes, or a nice smile. Do not mention any body parts when starting with a compliment.

The compliment should be clean and tasteful as the person will want to think you’re sweet and kind. They don’t want to think your gross and direct.


Starting a conversation on Tinder can be intimidating, but saying the right things can help you spark a meaninful relationships. We recommend starting with a question, compliment or a joke to lighten the mood.

First impressions are everything, don’t ruin your only chance to capture a pretty girl or handsome guy’s attention.

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